define love.

mm, its now 655am in the morning.

it's monday people!

yet i'm posting another randomn ttm blogpost.
this is horrible.

just had a rough night,
imagine you never ever got drunk and puked,
but yet, it was the very first time.
you puked a whole freaking dustbin out.
damn terrible!

i just want to say,
i'm out, pretty stress out, and done.
i can't wipe away what i saw,
can't erase away what happen.
one's someone i love deeply,
one's my good ....

to you :

i did my very best, i tried really hard.
to not see you sad,
to be there for you when you need someone.
to try to rebrand you and make you look nicer,
or rather more mature.
i'm sorry if i don't have enough time for you anymore,
because i'm really busy.
or currently, ain't that close to you anymore,
because, certain things or issues, do not allow us to be close like before.

but, why do you want to do this to me?
why?
i thought you were great,
but yet, i was wrong.
i hate to admit that i'm wrong,
but what's infront of me, is never never wrong.
please, i'm really feeling shit.


&to you :

i thought love was something special.
i thought, you and me creates love.
i thought we were the happiest couple ever.
i thought you were the one,
& i thought you loved me.


10mths,
&i'm done.

god, help.

It's 820am right now, and i haven't slept for the whole night.

feeling a lil lost, yet my love one's beside me right now.

can i deny the fact that, that night happened?

trying so hard to push it away, because, i'm crazily in love.

i want to send a message to god right now,

hoping he can give me a guidance,

and lead me through.

i'm sick, tired.

Dear God,

please help me get through this stage.

It's really hard to trust the person you love the most when everything's just

so sudden.

It's been almost a year, and yet a whole lifetime to come.

I really can't live without him, and i don't wish to leave him.

I truly pray, i want to get out of this thought,

this crazy headaches constantly at night.

this frustrating paranoid mind.

why? i really don't know.

Want to have trust,

want to pretend nothing happened.

but no, you disallow.

how i wish i was this stupid girl,

who knows nothing but just fall in love.

And i would'tn have to do this time and again,

and find out more.

This is

crazy, shit.